For sure, you’ve heard about bridezillas, the soon-to-be-wed women who seem to be infuriated by anything and everything wedding-related. What you’re not too aware of perhaps is the term “bridechilla.” A recently coined term to describe the complete opposite of bridezillas.
These are the wives-to-be who appear to be unbothered, unworried about their wedding plans. No pressure on the bridesmaids how they should look. No problem if there’s no bachelorette party whatsoever. No drama at all. At a glance, it seems like the best, right? But, in reality, it’s far from it.
If you’ll be tying the knot soon, beware of not just becoming a bridezilla — be careful not to turn into a bridechilla, too.
The Bridechilla Drama
It’s easy to spot the problem with overly-frantic brides: they’re perfectionists. They want everything to be in order, on cue, and spot on, but that’s technically impossible. For the too-relaxed brides, the issue isn’t that instantly obvious. People have become terrified of bridezillas (or becoming one) that its antithesis, the unworried bride, has become the ideal. However, the thing is, there’s also a problem with this other extreme.
A bridechilla refuses to be firm on her decisions to distance herself from the image of the raging bridezilla. When a bride’s friend or a wedding planner asks, “What do you want for your wedding flowers?” or “What should the bridesmaids wear?” the calm, collected bride would then answer, “Anything’s okay. Whichever sounds good.”
That’s when the dilemma comes in: the burden of choice falls on the people around her, which is a tricky position to be in. By not taking a stand on what you want, you make it hard for people to decide themselves. Of course, there’s also the risk of having one gigantic mess of a wedding ceremony.
Sometimes, even after the wedding day, the bridechilla spell remains. Your friend may recommend going for professional wedding gown cleaning in Toronto to preserve the dress and make it an heirloom, but you refuse to communicate what you want, and so the gown goes back into the box, and the inevitable happens, yellowing as the years pass.
The Right Balance
When it comes to wedding planning, balance is the key to success. You shouldn’t be too aggressive about the things you want that you end up lashing out on everyone, but you shouldn’t be too lax either that you dodge making the tough decisions, dumping the burden on others.
If you have the tendency to pull a bridechilla, do some self-reflection why you’re behaving that way. If it’s to avoid being too demanding, know that you can still do this without totally giving up control or surrendering to anything or whatever. If it’s because you’re afraid to make mistakes on your choices, you have wedding planners to give you opinions and counsel, backed by years of experience. You also have friends and loved ones who tied the knot themselves, who can give equally meaningful advice.
Remember that you can strike a balance on your attitude towards wedding planning by having someone honestly tell you what you’re becoming. That someone is your future spouse. Be accountable to each other and be willing to change actions when necessary. Treat your wedding planning as the training ground for that life-long marriage.
Wedding planning can bring out the worst in women. Are you turning into a bridechilla? Don’t go to that other extreme. Remember to keep everything balanced.